Sharma Hitesh’s Blogs Page, Rediff iLand

Be Careful What You Ask For

One day a man spotted a lamp by the roadside.
He picked it up, rubbed it vigorously, and a genie appeared.

"I'll grant you your fondest wish," the genie said.

The man thought for a moment, then said, "I want a spectacular job -- a job that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever even dared try."

"Poof!" said the genie.

"You're a housewife."

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13:03 | 3/Jan/2008 | 1 Comment(s)

Types of GIRL

Types of Girls ( Computer Humor )

CD-ROM GIRLS

She is always faster and faster.

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EMAIL GIRLS

Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense .

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HARD DISK GIRLS

She remembers everything, FOREVER

She make horrible thing look beautiful

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SCREENSAVER GIRLS

She is good for nothing but at least she is fun

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RAM GIRLS

She forget about you, the moment turn her off

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WINDOW GIRLS

Everyone know that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.

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VIRUS GIRLS

Also known as "wife'' when you are not expecting her, she comes, install herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if don't try you uninstall her you will lose everything...

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SERVER GIRLS

Always busy when you need her.

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11:10 | 25/Dec/2007 | 1 Comment(s)

difference between men & women

Men vs. Women

Click here to joint the group

What is the difference between men and women?

1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

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2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

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3. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

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4. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

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5. There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman- before and after marriage.

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6. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

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7. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

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8. Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

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9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

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10. Women look at a wedding as the beginning of romance, while men look at a wedding as the ending of romance.

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11:11 | 24/Dec/2007 | 2 Comment(s)

The Guys Rule

The Guys' Rules

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Finally , the guys' side of the story.

We always hear " the rules " From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note.. These are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

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1. Men are NOT mind readers.

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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

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1. Crying is blackmail.

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1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

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1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

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1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

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1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.

If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really .

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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

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1. You have enough clothes.

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1. You have too many shoes.

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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

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1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh!

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15:57 | 21/Dec/2007 | 2 Comment(s)

2 all of you know

Dear All,

There is a site: www.friends2support.org where u can search for a particular blood group, u'll get thousands of donor addresses. Pass this msg 2 all u know. It will help many.
So please don't delete it without forwarding to any one. U will really help some 1 without u r knowledge.

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10:40 | 21/Dec/2007 | 1 Comment(s)

todays hat style

New Year - Employee Rules and Regulations

*Dress Code*

It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.

If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better,so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore do not need a raise.

If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore do not need a raise.

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*Sick Days*

We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness.

If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

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*Personal Days*

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.

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*Toilet Use*

Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls.

At the end of the three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken.

After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category".

Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy!

You are allowed to use the rest room only thrice a day and you have to swipe in and out from the toilet doors also.

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*Lunch Break*

Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a slim fast.

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*Mails*

Don't read junk and forwarded mails.

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Thank you for your loyalty to our company.

We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore,

All questions, comments,concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations,consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management.

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16:40 | 20/Dec/2007 | 0 Comment(s)

love & life

for evevrybudy.

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